This is the Worst Idea
by merryfortune
Summary: In which Mihawk has an idea, Zoro considers it the worst, and Perona wants everyone to get along; and maybe look cute too.


**This is the Worst Idea**

 **[AN: AU Where you have two names – one on each wrist – and one name represents the love of life and the other person represents the fight of your life.]**

It only took one eclipse of a moment for everything in life to make sense. Belligerent tension hung in the air and dangerous sparks flew. Perona petulantly tapped her foot. The noise echoed through the halls. Zoro had a growl hitch in his throat and he scowled. Mihawk was similar in demeanour although with much more amusement.

The people necessary were present.

Mihawk smirked. He had a smug pair of lips and eyes keen and appreciative of the delicious tension in the air. 'I believe we all know each other from previous experiences. Isn't that marvellous?'

It had been Perona's meandering, romantic thoughts that had brought them to this conversation and she was currently wallowing in swampy regret because of it. She frowned. 'I hate both of you.'

'No, that can't be right.' Mihawk chided her. His voice was almost whimsical in tone. He was clearly relishing this moment in time.

'I'm a fool then.' Perona amended.

'You got that right.' Zoro said. He had a growly voice that irked Perona. Ironically, Zoro found that Perona's voice to be irksome.

Mihawk chuckled whilst he rolled up his sleeves. His laughter was like tick-tock tut. 'Come on now, don't be shy. Everyone has at them.' Mihawk tittered and he held out his wrists encased in upturned, burgundy cuffs. 'It was your idea, Perona. you can only hold it against yourself.'

'Go fuck yourself.' Perona retorted stubbornly.

'If it'll make you disappear, fine.' Zoro said. He put his hands out so that his wrist was topside.

Perona peeked at the names first. She was flabbergasted by the unfolding coincidence but she held the hidden ace; although she knew with Zoro that its purpose would be defunct. She rolled up her sleeves and her hands joined the jagged circle. The three all read what could be found on the other two's wrists.

Mihawk had "Perona" and "Roronoa Zoro" written on his wrists.

Zoro had "Perona" and "Dracule Mihawk" written on his wrists.

Perona had "Usopp" and "Dracule Mihawk" written on her wrists.

The appearance of Usopp's name was a surprise to Zoro and Mihawk. Mihawk found it surprising because the name was unfamiliar. Zoro found it surprising because he knew the names on Usopp's wrists, well he knew one name, Kaya, and he couldn't quite recall the other because truthfully he never paid all that much attention. Zoro was certain however that "Perona" was not the other name.

Mihawk hummed. 'So, what have we here.' he blathered, bright with delight.

'You have to be my fated lover because I've met Usopp and he kicked my ass to kingdom come.' Perona admitted. Her face was scarlet and she curled her hands into fists. She sounded, and looked like, a furious child.

'You have to be the one i'm destined to fight because I'm gonna kick your ass and become the world's greatest swordsman.' Zoro said.

'I suspected as much ever since our first meeting. You did leave a lasting impression on me.' agreed Mihawk.

'I'm flattered.' Zoro retorted. 'But there's no way this chick's s'posed to be my-my f-f...' He couldn't bring himself to say it. It sounded so cheesy.

According to proven legend, the names on people's wrists had immense meaning. One name indicated a fated lover; a soul mate. The other name was meant to indicate the exact opposite: someone you would come to loathe and the meeting may, eventually, erupt into chaotic violence. There have been rumoured incidents where the names have been interchangeable between love and hate or incidents where it's the same name. It sounded preposterous; to some degree. Unfortunately, as it happened in most cases – like this one – there is no obvious and discernible way to realise whose name was supposed to match up with love and hate.

Perona could accept a soul mate. Zoro could accept a hate mate. Mihawk was open to both.

Besides, Zoro was still in love with another so there was no way this pink-haired ghost girl could be his 'one'.

'Well, it does seem we are in a strange predicament then.' Mihawk said. 'I mean, you two could have it around the wrong way. It could be Zoro and I who are fated and lovers, and it could be the lady and I who are supposed to fight. It could be this Usopp fellow who is supposed to bed Perona.'

'Don't you dare start!' Zoro shouted with throbbing veins in his forehead.

Mihawk smiled. He had a devil's smile. It was unnatural but playful. Perona liked it. She hoped that they were to be the fated lovers because a smile like that could turn her on very easily.

Mihawk put his hands on his hips. 'I believe I may have a solution to this conundrum.' he stated, rather proudly too.

'What do you suggest?' Perona asked as she crossed her arms.

'I suggest that we just date each other and let hate breed where hate likes to breed, or conversely, allow love to bloom.' Mihawk spoke like he was boasting.

Perona's head tilted and her hair followed in rowdy tousles. Her eyes seemed owlish. 'I agree.' she supposed.

'I will cut you both.' Zoro growled.

'So that's a "no" then?' Mihawk asked. He actually sounded as though he was wounded by Zoro's rejection of the idea.

'It might be fun.' Perona added and she twisted around to face Zoro.

Her ruby red lips puckered and she fluttered her eyelashes. Perona was definitely making a conscious decision to create a seductive pout. Zoro was weakened by the feminine ability to use such baby-doll eyes. He glanced at Mihawk. Even the old man was trying to make an attempt to entice Zoro by trying to exert his mysterious charm.

Zoro huffed. He'd never been in a situation like this before. His shoulders lost their staunch with his breath. 'I'm going to lose some sort of meal privilege if I say "no" won't I?'

'Hadn't thought of that.' Mihawk replied, off guard, 'But I would think so.'

'I guess... It couldn't hurt then.' Zoro surrendered.

'This is going to be interesting; I've never had a boyfriend and a girlfriend – at once – before.' Mihawk confessed.

'Well don't you get brownie points for being monogamous then.' Perona interjected.

This was going to end as the worst mistake of Zoro's life, and he's made a lot of mistakes.


End file.
